Archive | December, 2010

Seasons greetings from Senior Cleric

24 Dec

There is a spring in the step of many Western Muslims today following a new decree by Dr. Mubarak, a member of the Council of Senior scholars in Saudi Arabia. The Kingdom’s leading daily, Okaz, reports that Dr. Mubarak has ruled that Muslims may respond to invitations to participate in the celebrations (Eids) of non-Muslims, and as a descendant of Muhammad ibn ‘Abdul-Wahhab his words carry great influence.

“This is a major shift in Saudi Wahhabist thinking, and gives us hope for the future,” said Islamic expert Ed Nawaz. “Inch by inch they are edging towards modernisation. I look forward to the day when they will be as enlightened as we in the West are.”

And Mr. Nawaz was not the only one to share this view. A New York based cleric, Sh. Kazi was in agreement.

“I think the ruling that we can’t share holiday celebrations with our non-Muslim friends is outdated. I mean, Ibn al-Uthaimeen’s fatwa prohibiting such is so last century. In particular I’m happy that all our Muslim brethren in the American army will be able to sit down tomorrow with their fellow soldiers and celebrate Xmas together.”

Muslims in London also spoke of their joy – and surprise – at the new fatwa. “It couldn’t have come at a better time” exclaimed Rehana Javaid. “I can’t wait to call my friends and let them know that I’ve changed my mind and that I will be attending their Christmas party tomorrow.”

And one cheeky youth on the steps of London’s Whitechapel Mosque who asked not to be named in case his dad reads this article, told us, “I’m off to get some Mistletoe to practice for tomorrow.”

So, its happiness all round. All thanks to the pen of a cleric who really knows what he’s talking about.



A new front opening in the War on Terror?

24 Dec

The War on Terror took an unexpected twist yesterday with news that N. Korea has announced its preparations for a Holy War against South Korea. While American officials responded with the usual “yeah, yeah”, the news was greeted with threats of reprisal from an unexpected quarter. Abu Jihad-Yee Yu Die Soon, head of Al-Qaeda in the Far East contacted us issuing the following statement:

“Who the heck does he think he is, this Kim Jong-Il? He doesn’t even have a Muslim sounding name! He’s not even an Arab!  We own ‘Holy war’, and we’re not going to let anyone else take it without a fight. You tell that wuss with a girl’s name for a first name that he’s goin’ down!”

A CIA official who we contacted floated the idea of arming AlQaeda in the Far East with the aim of taking out the N. Korean Regime. “If these jihadists defeated the USSR in the 80s with our help, I don’t see why they can’t take out another one of these Commie bastards today.”

We will keep you updated as this story progresses.


King makes miracle recovery: will go surfing tomorrow

23 Dec